My initial ideas pointed me towards the idea of tableau, using some or all of the images I used for the screen based to produce a singular image, a tableau which told my story of anxiety. Using a cloud for a head, I would produce thought bubbles which would contain my anxieties, similar to those by Katie Crawford.
I intended to create a ‘collage’ type of tableau image, reminiscent of Oscar Rejlander’s Two Ways of Life, or Raphael’s School of Athens:
However when I opened photoshop and began to create the image, I realised that it looked convoluted and a bit unappealing. I wanted the image to appear as if the clouds were the cloudiness of my head and the bubbles as pieces of my anxiety in my head. Instead it looked awful! I suppose to begin with the idea was not very strong, there would be too much going on at once without a strong sense of how this was supposed to look the image ended up thus:
So as the above idea did not really work, I decided to look again to Katie Crawford’s work, this time to her use of text and image to enhance deeper emotional meanings within the image.
Using this technique I chose an image which depicted the bathroom sink as I changed the water from clear to red to make the ‘blood sink’. Using this transition image I can add text on to the image, similarly to how I evaluated the final fragmented narrative describing how I feel about water and how I know my reaction is strange and ‘not normal’ so I continue to face it as if I am not bothered by it at all.
Final Printed Narrative Image:
Final Printed Narrative Text:
I AM SINKING…
This sink full of water represents my fear of water, the feeling of it’s texture. I dislike the sensation of water or feeling it around my head as it causes an immediate fear response and I feel very uncomfortable. It may look like a nice clean sink of water to you, but it looks like this to me, so gruesome and horrible. Water is so commonplace that I have to face this fear daily, this is why it features as a constant reminder of sinking deeper into my anxiety.